.....

I dont have a title for this because its about something that just took place. My grandfather just passed away. I couldn't tell you how i feel about it if you asked me right now, because i dunno myself.

When the greater cycle of life and death kicks in, its really hard to get back to 'our' personal worlds. It makes me feel like none of what I do really matters at the end of the day. I am born, I exist, I die. Then that 'I' does not exist anymore.

Its funny that we are able to blind ourselves from the rawness and realness of nature and everything around us.
The nature of nature. The way things work, with or without us. We are not to blame for making sure we dont think about death every morning. But sometimes when it hits us pretty close it takes time to figure thaat part of our life out, and then come back to this one.

All this "stuff" is real stuff. As much as I would like it to be bull shit, its not. But that does not mean that we have to be sad about the way things turn out. Of course there is loss, we feel loss, we mourn, but it comes to an end because we have and will always know that such events, such things like birth and death are pretty much inevitable. We come to a point where we realize that we knew this day would come so if we could accept it then, then sure as hell we can accept it now. This makes us strong i guess. It gives me a hand at least. And as long as it puts even a little smirk on my face, fabrication, belief, or wtv is it that we use to help us through our part in this cycle is a good thing.


(you might find that there is no exact point in this entry - its a wild field, you can't blame me for trying to venture into it)

:) :' :O :( :'( :') ;) :I :* :S  ???(!)